Moments.

Life is made up of a series of moments. A few are profound. Most are more mundane. But it is the combination and culmination of those moments, mundane and profound, that make up who we are. How we think, feel, what we believe.

We anticipate the big ones. We see them coming. Often, we have planned for them. A union long hoped for and planned for. A family growing, changing. A journey, discovery of new places, peoples, cultures. The anticipation helps. It also hurts. Oftentimes, reality doesn’t meet expectation, and we are let down. Even if only a little bit.

Those smaller, surprise moments? They can have real power. They can make a change that, even though it may be small, is very, very real.

I experienced one of those moments almost 20 years ago. Neurosis released Given to the Rising, and my understanding and appreciation of heavy music was forever changed.

Given to the Rising wasn’t Neurosis’s first album. Far from it. They’d been a band for over 20 years at that point, and it was their 8th album. But it was the first time I had really paid attention. I’d long been aware of Neurosis, but beginning with their third album, Souls at Zero, each album clocked in at over an hour. Many songs run over 10 minutes, and these were dense albums.

Neurosis has never been an accessible band. But a new album was the perfect excuse to dive in. So I did. And I emerged a changed man.

Instantly, the music I sought out changed. I began to explore more “post” bands. I embraced the sound of such fundamental artists as Cult of Luna, ISIS (they had already dissolved before the terrorist group was well-known), and YOB. Any band that claims they were influenced by Neurosis at least earns a listen from me. That is how fundamental they are to my music appreciation.

But it has been 10 years.

Ten long years. In the midst of that, we had a terrible admission of abuse from founding member, vocalist, and guitarist Scott Kelly. The band repudiated him instantly, stating they had previously cut all ties (but kept quiet at the request of Kelly’s family). They were “stepping back”.

We all took that as it was over. I came to terms with the idea that there would never be new Neurosis music. I’d found peace in other bands that were still active and scratched a similar, if not identical, itch.

Then I got home from work today and opened my email.

To the news of a new Neurosis album.

What the actual fuck?

No one in the metal press knew. This was a shock. And with it came the announcement that Aaron Turner (of said ISIS fame) had replaced Kelly. I went to the Bandcamp page. It was real. I ordered the vinyl. They took my money. And despite not being there this morning, when I checked the new music section of Apple Music, it was now the first hit in there.

I’m still working my way through the album for the second time: I will need many more listens to really digest all 64 minutes. That isn’t what this is about.

This is about the feelings.

When I say I have been on a roller coaster for the last hour, I mean it. I can’t describe all my feelings; there are too many, and they are too complex. But mixed all up inside me in a confusing stew was fear, relief, disbelief, shock, excitement, hesitation. But more than anything, I felt joy.

Joy that a band that has been so influential to how I approach and appreciate music had more to share. Joy that there was new music to digest, to enjoy, to experience. Those who know, get it. Those who don’t, never will. That’s okay. But for some of us, music is an essential, almost spiritual, part of our lives.

Neurosis takes heavy music to a place that very few bands manage. The music is transcendental. It evokes more than the notes or words alone convey. It is an aural exploration of the many vicissitudes of life. It is an attempt to make sense of the bullshit that surrounds us.

And more of that?

Yes please.

My day has changed. A moment has occurred. Life before new Neurosis is now the past. I live in a present where there is new Neurosis music to embrace.

Life is just a little different. A little better. Music has that power.